Has anyone ever won a game of Monopoly?

Here's what happens at the end. Monopoly is one of the most well-known and popular board games in the world. It's also one of the longest. In fact, since the game's inception in 1936, nobody has actually finished a game.

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Monopoly is one of the most well-known and popular board games in the world. It's also one of the longest. In fact, since the game's inception in 1936, nobody has actually finished a game.

Until now.

Oh you might think you've finished a game. Everybody gets tired, one person gets pretty far ahead, so you decide to start cutting a few corners, sell all your hotels to Uncle Jake to get things over with, and boom, it's basically done.

Well guess what, basically done isn't done.

You might be curious to know what happens when you reach the end. After all, nobody's ever done it. The first thing that happens when you've officially finished a game is all the funny little coloured money turns into real money. That's right, everybody gets the money they finished with (sort of; more on that later), and then you split the money in the bank. So that's a lot of fun.

That's when you'll hear the helicopter.

No, I didn't think Rich Uncle Pennybags was a real person either. Until yesterday. And he's still not, really, in the strictest sense. His real name is Oliver Didriksen, and he's an actor, and he's been waiting 81 years for someone to finish a game. He does not move well.

As he slowly makes his way down the stairs of the gold-plated helicopter in which he arrived, he exclaims in his mid-Atlantic voice that the results of this game were not fair! Why should the losers get any money!?

He then gives all the money of the people who did not win to the winner. The winner gets all the money in the game. So that's a lot of fun, because I won. Though I could see how it wouldn't be as much fun if you lost, especially given the false hope offered earlier.

Oh except you have to give all the money back that you got if you landed on Free Parking, because apparently that's not a real rule. Who knew?

I do.

That's when you'll hear the helicopter.

No, that's not a typo. Another helicopter arrives. Actually helicopters sort of keep arriving one after another. It becomes very difficult to hear Oliver, particularly because his voice is not particularly strong at this age. An assistant then hands you the keys to your new property at Kentucky Avenue. No, it's not Boardwalk or Park Place, but it's not Baltic Avenue either. It's not bad.Plus you've got your now-real money if you want to upgrade ($20,580 in cash, total). They've adjusted it to that amount for inflation, but it's still no fortune; I'm sure it would have gotten you a lot more in 1936, but guess what, apparently nobody was committed enough to find out before me. You'll then be guided by Oliver to his helicopter (be sure to get in the right one—by now there are over 200 helicopters. Don't know why, really) to your new home on Kentucky Avenue.

Which is in New York. As are Pennsylvania, Illinois, and Tennessee Avenues.

Look, nobody ever said Monopoly wasn't confusing.

Anyway I live there now and Oliver lives in my old house, and that's basically how it all works. I wish you luck being the second to ever finish a Monopoly game, or failing that, I hope you become the first person ever to do better than second-place in a beauty contest.

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