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How do you achieve self-actualization?

How to work toward it Practice acceptance. Learning to accept what comes — as it comes — can help you achieve self-actualization. ... Live spontaneously. ... Get comfortable with your own company. ... Appreciate the small things in life. ... Live authentically. ... Develop compassion. ... Talk to a therapist.

healthline.com - Self-Actualization: What It Is and How to Achieve It - Healthline

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Only you can determine what self-actualization means for you, but we’ve got the info to help you get the ball rolling and make the process feel less daunting. “There’s no script for that,” Egel adds. “Everyone has to find their own unique ways to hear the inner wisdom that can help them live a life of truth.”

It all sounds great — but how do you actually become this best version of yourself? And how will you know you’ve achieved it?

Kim Egel, a San Diego therapist, similarly explains it as the “ability to become the best version of yourself.” One of the most broadly accepted definitions comes from Abraham Maslow, a humanistic psychologist. He described self-actualization as the process of becoming “everything you are capable of becoming.”

Self-actualization can mean a lot of things depending who you ask.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a good thing to be aware of as you explore self-actualization, but it’s not the only way to approach things. While this pyramid model can provide some general guidance on the path toward self-actualization, it has some limitations. For example, plenty of people lack adequate food and shelter while still enjoying and maintaining strong relationships and respecting others. A lot of discussions about self-actualization refer to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. He theorized that people need to satisfy four basic types of needs before they can satisfy a fifth need for self-actualization. You practice, develop this skill, and continue improving over time. Maybe you never become a pop singer, but you live out your need to make music in a different way. For example, say you dream of becoming a pop singer. You love music, but can’t really carry a tune. Eventually, you find that you’re pretty good at playing the guitar and making music that way. From there, you would live your life in a way that best utilizes your strengths while taking steps to achieve your dreams, both large and small. In fact, a huge part of self-actualization is recognizing your limits in addition to focusing on your unique strengths — whether those involve practical skills, parenting, artistic talents, or emotional insights. Self-actualization doesn’t involve perfection or things always going smoothly. You can become self-actualized and still face difficulties. Again, self-actualization can mean a lot of things to different people. To cut through some of the ambiguity, it might be helpful to think about what self-actualization isn’t. “From a therapist’s perspective, self-actualization is a constant work in progress,” Egel says. “In our humanness, we are never going to stay completely the same.” If all of this feels unattainable, remember that self-actualization is a process, not an endgame. There’s no single point where you “should” end up on the journey. Keep in mind that it’s possible to achieve it without meeting every characteristic, just as it’s equally possible to have these traits before reaching the point of self-actualization.

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There are a range of characteristics that tend to be associated with self-actualization. Now that we’ve identified a basic definition of what self-actualization is (and isn’t), it’s time to get into the nitty-gritty of what it truly means to be the best version of yourself. Self-actualization is an admirable goal to work toward. If you live your life with purpose and authenticity and show concern for others, you’re headed down the right track.

These tips can serve as additional guideposts along your way.

Practice acceptance

Learning to accept what comes — as it comes — can help you achieve self-actualization. This might mean you work with situations as they turn out — such as a rainy day when you planned an outdoor event — rather than wishing things had happened in a different way. It could also mean you get more comfortable accepting unknowns in your life. Or, maybe it means you try to avoid wishful thinking and look at things in more realistic ways. Acceptance also refers to human experience. It’s not always easy to like people who behave in unkind or problematic ways. You can, however, still extend compassion by recognizing that everyone has their own circumstances to deal with. Remember: Accepting someone doesn’t mean you have to spend your time with them.

Live spontaneously

To live with spontaneity, try enjoying each moment as it comes, without trying to worry about what you should do. It might feel easy and safe to stick with what you know, but fight that urge. Take chances (within reason) and be open to trying new things.

Thinking back to your younger years can help you tap into your inner spontaneity. Maybe you used to roll down hills instead of walking along the footpath. Or you threw an impromptu picnic in the backyard, because why not?

Spontaneity can be as simple as taking a different route home or trying a food you’d never considered before. Your heart can be a great guide, so pay attention to any gut instincts you feel.

Get comfortable with your own company

Your relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners play an important part in your life. But it’s just as important to nurture your relationship with yourself. Pretty much everyone benefits from some occasional “me time.” Some people may need more or less than others. How you spend this time may matter less than what you get from it. Self-actualized people typically feel calm and at peace on their own, so aim to reconnect with yourself until you look forward to your moments alone as much as (or more than) the time you spend with others.

Appreciate the small things in life

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This sounds like a cliche, but it’s a key step to self-actualization. Take time to appreciate aspects of your day-to-day life that often go ignored in the busyness of living.

Think of things like:

a delicious meal

cuddles from your pet

good weather

a job you enjoy

Live authentically

This phrase gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean? Living authentically involves honoring your truth and avoiding things like dishonesty, manipulation, or denial of your needs.

This might mean worrying less about what other people think of you.

Instead of living according to what other people say or suggest you should do, you follow insight gained from personal experience and live according to the guidance of your heart. You’re also honest with yourself about your needs and desires. You respect the rights and needs of others, of course, but you work to achieve your goals as only you can. You work to maximize your potential, not someone else’s.

Develop compassion

Self-actualized people have deep feeling for other living creatures. Their compassion extends beyond their immediate social circle and those they know in their daily life to humanity and the world as a whole.

Compassion comes more easily to some people than others.

If you struggle to understand and empathize with people who are very different than you, try learning more about people who have different life experiences through reading books or consuming other media produced by people from a different background.

Looking for more ways to build compassion? Try:

volunteering for charitable organizations or human interest projects

exploring ways to improve your community

calculating your carbon footprint and taking steps to make improvements

Talk to a therapist

Therapy can help you take steps toward any of your goals, and self-actualization is no exception. Plus, you don’t need to be facing a mental health issue to seek therapy. Wanting to develop compassion, spontaneity, and authenticity are totally acceptable reasons to seek therapy. In therapy, you can also learn more about self-actualization in general terms, since the concept can be a difficult one to grasp. Talk therapy, which most people just call “therapy,” is actually one type of humanistic therapy (which Maslow helped develop). If you’d like to dig a little deeper into spirituality or existential topics, though, consider exploring more specialized approaches like transpersonal therapy or existential therapy.

healthline.com - Self-Actualization: What It Is and How to Achieve It - Healthline

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