How would you describe the pain of death?

Pain. The death of someone close to us is the most devastating experience that will ever happen to us. It can be very painful. People describe it as being cut in two or losing a part of themselves.

cruse.org.uk - Feelings When Someone Dies | What does grief feel like?

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Grieving is natural and normal. It’s not an illness, although it can make you feel ill. It won’t last forever, although there may be times when it seems like the pain will never end. There’s no ‘right’ way to grieve and we each react in our own way. But some of our clients have reported feeling the following emotions.

Common feelings after someone dies

Shock and numbness

At first you might feel like you’re in shock. You might feel numb or carry on as if nothing has changed. This is because it can take a long time to process what has happened. You may also feel disorientated – as if you have lost your place in your world. It’s important to know all of these feelings are normal.

Pain

The death of someone close to us is the most devastating experience that will ever happen to us. It can be very painful. People describe it as being cut in two or losing a part of themselves. These feelings can be very frightening and upsetting.

Anger

It’s normal to feel angry when someone dies. Death can seem cruel and unfair. Especially when you feel someone has died too young or if you had plans for the future together. You might feel angry at the person who died, angry at others, or even angry at yourself for things that you did or didn’t do while they were alive.

Guilt

Guilt is another common reaction to grief. You might feel directly or indirectly to blame for the person’s death. Or you might feel guilty if you had a difficult relationship with the person who has died. Try not to be hard on yourself, it’s very unlikely you could have done anything to prevent the death from happening.

Depression

You may feel depressed after the death of someone close. It can feel like nothing matters. You might even feel like you don’t want to go on living. If you start to feel you might act on suicidal feelings please talk to someone. You can contact the Samaritans on 116 123 or contact 999 in case of an emergency. Your GP can also let you know about mental health support in your local area.

Seeing and hearing the person

People sometimes think they can hear or see the person who has died. You may also find that you can’t stop thinking about the events leading up to the death. “Seeing” the person who has died and hearing their voice can happen because our brain is trying to process the death and accept that it’s final. It’s important to know this is normal.

Physical feelings

It is common to feel physically ill after someone dies – the pain of grief can be felt as a real pain. Every part of your health can be affected. Read more about the physical effects of grief.

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bbc.com - What animals tell us about female leadership - BBC Worklife

What do hyenas, killer whales and elephants have in common? They’re members of an exclusive club where female bosses are the norm. New research has found that of the more than 5,000 known species of mammals, just a handful are led by females. As humans puzzle over the glass ceiling and how to get more women into leadership, could it be possible to learn something from the outliers of the animal kingdom? It’s a controversial idea, but according to the scientists who made this discovery, the answer is yes.

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In a paper published this week, Mills College animal behaviour professor Jennifer Smith and three colleagues identified eight species that exemplify female leadership: hyenas, killer whales, lions, spotted hyenas, bonobos, lemurs, and elephants. To find this group, the team first had to pinpoint the social species that show any leadership traits at all – by looking at things like movement, foraging, or conflict resolution, they identified 76 such mammals. Then within that group, the team searched for evidence of female leadership, and for the characteristics which define these female leaders. “I think there’s a lot to learn from these non-human societies,” Smith says.

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