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What age is appropriate for a console? For most younger kids, tablet/smartphone games are just fine. It's difficult for younger kids to work the controller and complexities of some of the console games. So, I'd recommend holding off on a gaming console until your child is around 6 or 7 years of age.
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Read More »Christmas is around the corner and, if you haven't finished your holiday shopping for the kids, now is the time to get that done! That stress of finding gifts a few days before Christmas should be avoided at all costs. Believe me, because I've learned that lesson at least a dozen times. If you have kids, particularly boys, video games are often at or near the top of their wish list. If you are like me and my wife, you probably have mixed feelings about supporting, indulging, or encouraging their gaming. My wife and I have three boys (ages 7, 12, and 15), so we are in the thick of it. As a psychologist who has worked with kids, teens, and families for over 20 years and the author of a book on this topic, Tech Generation: Raising Balanced Kids in a Hyper-Connected World, I can say that there are no easy answers to this dilemma. However, I'm going to offer a few tips that might help.
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Read More »Discuss "terms of use" with your child. This topic could be its own post but, in brief, we want to go over some "do's and don'ts" that go with access to their game console. Ideally, we get some input from our kids so it is not all a "top-down" approach. This is especially true when our kids are older as they need to develop the skill of self-regulation. Within these conversations, we should go over expectations and the consequences of misuse. We should avoid lengthy contracts or going into granular detail as this can be overwhelming. (Ever read a Terms of Use agreement for iTunes? I haven't either.) Some of the biggest areas to discuss include when they can play, how much time they have, and how to end gameplay when their time is up (e.g., "I'm about to get to the boss in this level! I just need a few more minutes!"). Choose games that are developmen tally appropriate. I keep running into this challenge because my younger kids are drawn to games (and movies) that aren't always appropriate for their age/developmental level. In general, try to use the Entertainment Software Rating Board's ratings. Common Sense Media also has some great tools and tips for selecting fun, appropriate games for your kids. You can also preview games to determine their appropriateness by observing gameplay on YouTube. Watch them play (or play with them!). Video games provide rich and diverse experiences for players of all ages. It's fun to watch our kids play these games, and this allows us to "enter their world." We can have wonderful conversations about what they are doing in the game, what their goals are, what problems they have solved, what they like/dislike about the game, what do they think would make the game even better, etc. Often, we can play these games with our kids which can be quite fun. Also, it allows them to be in a teacher's role, which can be quite empowering. One of my favorite little "strategies" is to ask my middle son to "think out loud" while he is playing a game when he is being watched by his little brother. That way, my youngest son can benefit from the sophisticated thinking of his older brother and my middle son can practice his verbal and teaching skills. Video games provide rich and diverse experiences for players of all ages. It's fun to watch our kids play these games, and this allows us to "enter their world." We can have wonderful conversations about what they are doing in the game, what their goals are, what problems they have solved, what they like/dislike about the game, what do they think would make the game even better, etc. Often, we can play these games with our kids which can be quite fun. Also, it allows them to be in a teacher's role, which can be quite empowering. One of my favorite little "strategies" is to ask my middle son to "think out loud" while he is playing a game when he is being watched by his little brother. That way, my youngest son can benefit from the sophisticated thinking of his older brother and my middle son can practice his verbal and teaching skills. Steer them toward some slow-paced strategy or thinking games. Video games don't cause Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). However, I am concerned that a constant diet of high-paced action games (as found in most first-person shooters) might make off-screen, slow-paced activities such as reading, playing board games, and sitting in class pale in comparison. In a manner similar to how we've grown so accustomed to eating foods with high levels of salt, sugar, and fat such that healthier options aren't as appealing, it's possible that a similar process is occurring with video games. As kids become too accustomed to the high levels of stimulation provided by many video games, real-life activities might seem bland and boring by comparison. It's not that we should totally restrict our kids from high-action games, but I recommend mixing in some slow (or slower) paced games. Two of my kids' favorites that are a bit slower (or have lots of slower parts) include Terraria and Starbound. Video games don't cause Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). However, I am concerned that a constant diet of high-paced action games (as found in most first-person shooters) might make off-screen, slow-paced activities such as reading, playing board games, and sitting in class pale in comparison. In a manner similar to how we've grown so accustomed to eating foods with high levels of salt, sugar, and fat such that healthier options aren't as appealing, it's possible that a similar process is occurring with video games. As kids become too accustomed to the high levels of stimulation provided by many video games, real-life activities might seem bland and boring by comparison. It's not that we should totally restrict our kids from high-action games, but I recommend mixing in some slow (or slower) paced games. Two of my kids' favorites that are a bit slower (or have lots of slower parts) include Terraria and Starbound. Get some board/card games as well! Even if you do decide to get a gaming console or video games for your child for Christmas, be sure to get some board/card games as well. There are SO many wonderful options out there. Some of our current family favorites include Exploding Kittens, We Didn't Playtest This at All, Fluxx, and Pandemic.
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