What are 5 to 10 characteristics of a codependent person?

Signs of codependency include: Difficulty making decisions in a relationship. Difficulty identifying your feelings. Difficulty communicating in a relationship. Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself. Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem. More items... •

everydayhealth.com - Do You Have a Codependent Personality? - Everyday Health

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The word “codependent” gets thrown around a lot. There are codependent couples, codependent companions, and codependent caretakers. But what does codependent actually mean — and is it really all that bad?

What Is Codependency?

“Codependency is typically discussed in the context of substance use, where one person is abusing the substance, and he or she depends on the other person to supply money, food, or shelter. But codependency is much broader than that,” says Jonathan Becker, DO, an associate professor of clinical psychiatry at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. “Codependency can be defined as any relationship in which two people become so invested in each other that they can’t function independently anymore," Dr. Becker says. "Your mood, happiness, and identity are defined by the other person. In a codependent relationship, there is usually one person who is more passive and can’t make decisions for themselves, and a more dominant personality who gets some reward and satisfaction from controlling the other person and making decisions about how they will live.” According to Mental Health America, codependency is often referred to as "relationship addiction," in that codependent people tend to form and become dependent on unhealthy, emotionally harmful relationships.

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“Codependency becomes problematic when one person is taking advantage of the other financially or emotionally,” Becker says. What's behind this behavior, though, is typically subconscious — one person is not necessarily knowingly trying to manipulate the other, even if that's the outcome. Similarly, a person who defines himself through the relationship may not be doing so in a conscious way. Gaining awareness of the subconscious motivations at work is key to improving the situation. Enabling is a sign of an unhealthy codependence. Mary-Catherine Segota, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at Counseling Resource Services in Winter Garden, Florida, describes enabling as a behavior that's used to ease relationship tension caused by one partner’s problematic habits. Enabling behavior, which is rarely seen in healthy relationships, includes bailing your partner out (of jail or financial problems), repeatedly giving him or her another chance, ignoring the problem, accepting excuses, always being the one trying to fix the problem, or constantly coming to the rescue in other ways. Having a codependent personality is not currently considered a diagnosable mental health condition. But some research has suggested a connection between codependent traits and conditions that are recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the guide used by mental health professionals for diagnosis. For instance, an exploratory study in Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly found a correlation between codependency and borderline personality disorder traits.

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