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What are signs of toxic parents?

Signs you might have a toxic parent include: They're self-centered. They don't think about your needs or feelings. They're emotional loose cannons. They overreact, or create drama. They overshare. ... They seek control. ... They're harshly critical. ... They lack boundaries.

What do the military call snipers?
What do the military call snipers?

A designated marksman (DM), squad advanced marksman (AD) or squad designated marksman (SDM) is a military marksman role in an infantry squad. The...

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What age are the best parents?
What age are the best parents?

But what's the best age to start bringing up a child? According to research at Aarhus University in Denmark, it may be a bit older – mid-30s...

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“ As adults, we have choices that we didn’t have as children, and we’re not required to always do what our parents want,” says Sharon Martin, a licensed clinical social worker in San Jose, CA. She’s the author of The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism and The Better Boundaries Workbook. However, her mother managed to involve James in positive activities. “That became my safe haven,” James says. She excelled at track and field. One organization offered free therapy when she was in 12th grade. “It literally changed my life,” she says. That same counselor became her supervisor years later when James decided to become a therapist. Now an Atlanta-based licensed therapist, author, and self-care expert, James can name her mother’s toxic behaviors. These include manipulation and gaslighting , a technique that makes you question your ability to tell what’s true or really happening. “As a child, I couldn’t avoid my mother. I couldn’t set boundaries,” James says. “The lines were blurred. There was no filter.” James’s parent, a crack cocaine addict, wasn’t. “There were times when I had to go search for my mother because I didn’t know where she was,” James says. “I felt responsible for my mom. Once I made that connection, I knew it was unhealthy.” Though she didn’t yet know the term “toxic,” Rashawnda James knew something was very off about her relationship with her mother when she was just 13 years old. “I realized that in the conversations at school that they were talking as though their parents were around a lot,” she says. “The most harmful thing to do to yourself is to believe you can fix them,” James agrees. “If you know that, you don’t have to stay there and take what they’re giving you. You can choose yourself. It releases you, when you don’t have to fix something.” “It’s normal to want to please your parents, no matter your age,” Martin says. “But be realistic about whether it’s possible, and what your efforts are costing you emotionally, physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually.” “I had to start living my life, and let go of it,” she says. A big “aha” moment for James was realizing she couldn’t be the reason for her mom to stop doing drugs. “I became the golden child. I thought, if I do well, she would possibly stay clean. If I graduate from high school … college… .” And on and on. “For example, consider whether you think it’s wrong to set boundaries, ask to be treated with respect, prioritize your or your immediate family’s needs above your parents’, or limit how much time you spend with your parents,” she says. “Would you tell a close friend that they’re wrong to do these things in response to yelling, manipulation, lying, harsh criticism, smear campaigns, or threats?” If you were raised to respect your elders, obey your parents, and please them at all costs, setting boundaries can seem foreign. Martin urges her clients to challenge that mindset. "Remember your parents’ inability to love, accept, and value you aren’t your fault, and don't have to do with your shortcomings.

What is common in all successful person?
What is common in all successful person?

The list of the five things that some of the world's most successful people have in common - Grit, Passion + Goals, Lifelong Learning, Confidence...

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Who was the greatest gunslinger?
Who was the greatest gunslinger?

Wild Bill Hickok Wild Bill may hold the title of the deadliest gunslinger in the whole West. He carried his two Colt 1851 Navy revolvers with ivory...

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Boundaries Are Key Fifteen years later, James’s mother is clean. The two live 22 minutes from each other and talk about twice a day, though they did take a 2-year break. James stresses that while she chooses to carry on their relationship with her mom, you must do what’s best for you. “It’s taken me 10 years of me enforcing the boundaries,” James says. “I say ‘No, Mom. I can’t give you money.’ ‘No Mom, I can’t be this for you.’ ‘I can’t go over there where those people make me uncomfortable, but you’re free to come over here.’” “Just because she’s my mother, her priorities don’t have to outweigh mine,” she adds. It helps that her mom has become more self-aware over time, and sometimes can catch herself in old patterns. No Need to Explain Have a short stock response to questions about why you’re not in contact with your parents, i.e., “I’m not talking to my parents because they’re emotionally abusive.” This can help you remember why you’ve set limits, even if others don’t get it. “When others judge or criticize your decision to limit contact or set other boundaries with your parents, it’s usually because they assume you have emotionally healthy parents who treat you with respect,” Martin says. “But you’re limiting contact because your parents are treating you poorly. And your parents don’t get a free pass to mistreat you simply because they’re your parents.” You still don’t owe anyone a reason, though, Martin adds. “You have the right to say, ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’” Practice Self-Care Children of toxic parents might not be used to taking care of themselves, Martin says. “Use a mantra such as, ‘Self-care isn’t selfish,’ or ‘My needs matter,’ or ‘I’m an adult and have the right to make my own choices.’”

What foods should seniors avoid?
What foods should seniors avoid?

Here are eight foods that you should cut down on (or avoid eating altogether) as you get older, and why: Raw or undercooked eggs, meat and poultry....

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What fruits should diabetics stay away from?
What fruits should diabetics stay away from?

Diabetics should avoid fruits with a high GI or eat them in moderation so that their blood sugar levels do not spike abruptly. Pineapple,...

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What is the best blade length for a bushcraft knife?
What is the best blade length for a bushcraft knife?

approximately around 3-5 inches Bushcraft Knife. Blade Dimension: Blades should be approximately around 3-5 inches in length, and 1/16 to 1/8 inch...

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What do teenagers enjoy the most?
What do teenagers enjoy the most?

All teenagers are different. But many enjoy spending their free time doing things like shopping, going to parties, being with friends, gaming and...

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