What are the 7 stages of trauma?

Understanding the 7 stages of trauma bonding sheds light on how and why trauma bonding happens. Stage 1: Love bombing. ... Stage 2: Get you hooked and gain your trust. ... Stage 3: Shift to criticism and devaluation. ... Stage 4: Gaslighting. ... Stage 5: Resignation & submission. ... Stage 6: Loss of sense of self. ... Stage 7: Emotional Addiction.

grace-being.com - 7 Stages Of Trauma Bonding - Life Purpose Coach

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A trauma bond is like a drug addiction where victims of abuse become psychologically addicted to their abuser and find it hard to leave the relationship. The 7 stages of trauma bonding will give you insight to know if you’ve developed trauma bonding with your partner. Trauma bonding is a result of manipulative techniques by abusive partners to trap their victims into unhealthy toxic relationships. Most often, survivors are unaware of the trauma bonding which makes it even more difficult to leave. If you feel like you have tried to leave a toxic relationship multiple times, but keep ending back with your ex despite the abuse, it might be an indication of trauma bonding. This manipulative technique can cause long-term negative effects and a lot of suffering. Understanding the 7 stages of trauma bonding sheds light on how and why trauma bonding happens.

Stage 1: Love bombing

In the beginning of the relationship your connection feels deep, intense, and you experience euphoric moments. Narcissists shower you with love and affection which can sometimes feel overwhelming. You feel appreciated and loved, and they present themselves as your ideal partner. Learn more about the love bombing manipulative technique.

Stage 2: Get you hooked and gain your trust

As the relationship develops, your partner does everything they can to win over your trust. They might rush you into commitments and suggest that you move in together or get married. These are usually false promises as when they feel that they have gained your trust, they will back out from commitment. You start feeling attached to them, and your emotions begin to feel dependent on them. As they sense that you are becoming addicted to them, they slowly start distancing themselves. Craving their love and validation is an indication that you are developing trauma bonding signs. In a healthy loving relationship, love and acceptance are always present, as your partner won’t leave you craving for their affection and validation.

Stage 3: Shift to criticism and devaluation

You might not notice how they gradually shift to the criticism stage. It generally starts slowly, and you might mistake it as a normal progression of two people getting more comfortable together in a relationship. Suddenly, they start belittling you, and you find yourself being blamed for everything that goes wrong, including their feelings and perceptions. As they enter into the devaluation stage, they become more demanding and it seems like they are never pleased. No matter what you do is never good enough for them.

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This is part of the narcissistic cycle, an abusive pattern that leads to trauma bonding. You can learn more about what is a narcissistic abuse cycle to help you get more insights on their behavior.

Stage 4: Gaslighting

During this stage, your abusive partner denies your feelings and experiences. They twist facts and make you feel that your concerns are invalid. Narcissist gaslighting causes a lot of confusion, and can lead to questioning your own sanity. Most often, victims of gaslighting develop cognitive dissonance as their abusive partners deny abusive behaviors, and accuse them that all problems in the relationship are solely their fault. This is an emotional manipulation technique and can make you seriously doubt your own thoughts, memories and experiences.

Stage 5: Resignation & submission

You realize that no matter how hard you try to reason things out, you cannot get anywhere. Having an open and logical discussion in a relationship with a narcissist is impossible. Every time you try to reason things out, your partner continues to blame and criticise you, while shifting the point of the argument to something irrelevant. You find yourself mentally and emotionally exhausted, so you decide to try and do things their way in order to resolve conflict. This empowers them to continue disrespecting your boundaries, while you’re hoping that you get back to Stage 1 to get their love and affection.

Stage 6: Loss of sense of self

Any attempt to take control into your hands and set some boundaries in your relationship, results in extreme emotional manipulation and abusive behavior. Your family and friends are probably worried about you, and they cannot understand why you’re still in this toxic relationship. You find yourself feeling powerless and exhausted. Your self-esteem has been broken and you completely neglect yourself and your needs to attend to theirs. A common symptom of trauma bonding is losing touch with your true self, your principles and personality. At this stage, you will do anything just to avoid another conflict and more suffering. Being in a relationship with a narcissist feels like an emotional roller-coaster. You feel anxious and stressed all the time, increasing the levels of cortisol in your body. At this stage, you struggle to find pleasure in anything, and you crave relief from the pain as a result of being rejected by your partner. This creates a cycle of dependency that can feel very similar to drug addiction.

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Narcissists go through toxic behavioral cycles which leave their victims at their mercy. Learn more about the behavioral cycle of a narcissist to help you understand better the psychology behind it. This kind of behavior also leads to trauma bonding which keeps their victims trapped in the relationship craving for the next love bombing stage.

Breaking Free of a Trauma Bond

Even though you can sense that the relationship is toxic for you, you struggle to leave your partner. You find yourself making excuses and justifying their behavior. However, deciding to stay in a toxic relationship is a symptom of trauma bonding. This kind of emotional and mental torture will never stop if you decide to stay with a narcissist. To break free from a trauma bond, you need to cut all the contact with the narcissist and physically distance yourself. Healing from a narcissistic relationship is not easy, but once you take the necessary steps to get over a trauma bond, it will become easier. Professional support can be extremely helpful in your healing journey. It can help you gain an objective perspective on what is happening in your relationship, and rebuild your self-esteem. By working on yourself with someone who can understand and validate your experience, you can get closure and reconnect with your sense of self to reclaim yourself back!

FAQ

What are the 7 stages of trauma bonding? The 7 stages of trauma bonding are:

1. Love bombing

2. Get you hooked and gain your trust

3. Shift to criticism and devaluation

4. Gaslighting

5. Resignation & submission

6. Loss of sense of self

7. Emotional addiction

grace-being.com - 7 Stages Of Trauma Bonding - Life Purpose Coach

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