What causes a child to rebel against their parents?

medicinenet.com - Why Does Teenage Rebellion Happen? - MedicineNet

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Teenagers: why do they rebel?

Teenage rebellion is a leading cause of conflict between parents and their teenagers. Teen rebellion happens due to their brain development, need for control, struggle for acceptance, attention seeking, over worried parents, hormone changes and the teens' fight for independence. Teenage rebellion is common in young adults, and it's one of the leading causes of conflicts between parents and their adolescent children. Rebellion refers to the expression of defiant behavior and disregard for the existing parenting rules. Teenage rebellion can be a normal part of growth and development. This developmental phase signals the teenager's need for independence and a separate identity. During the teenage years, your child is trying to develop their self-identity. At this time, you need to help your teen understand that their value lies in who they are and not in what they do. Guide your child in figuring out the difference between an image and identity. It's a part of their brain development: The prefrontal cortex is a part of the human brain that controls decision-making, social behavior, and personality expression. During the teen years, the function of this part of the brain gets into practice which results in testing boundaries, arguing, testing, and finally being able to understand the decision-making process. In reality, teens need to make their own decisions and mistakes to develop their prefrontal cortex fully. Fighting for independence: Another cause of teenage rebellion is the struggle to gain independence. During adolescent years, children start craving more freedom from their parents. Sometimes parents may confuse the need for space for rebellion, and their reactions may lead to teenage rebellion. Need for control: Teenagers want to have a considerable say in their lives and take authority over their actions. When parents force decisions, teenagers tend to lash out and defy their parents. Struggle for acceptance: Teenagers are heavily influenced by peers. They want to fit in and may try to imitate the lifestyles of their friends. The pressure of living a lifestyle they admire may lead to rebellion as they stop listening to their parents. They face the pressure of doing what everyone is doing and may even risk losing their individuality. They may forget their interests as they try to fit into someone else's lifestyle. Seeking attention: Teenagers love to get attention and may go to great lengths to gain it. They like it when people notice their actions, lifestyle, or appearance and will do anything to make people pay attention. Teenagers who lack attention from their parents may start seeking attention and solace from the wrong people. These people may send them on the wrong path, causing them to misbehave. Over-worrying parents: Most parents tend to worry, and they express their concerns regularly to their rebellious teens. Communicating your worries to your teens all the time may cause them to pick up a habit of ignoring you when you are speaking to them. Though done out of love, the constant worrying communication may give your teenager the idea that you can't offer them any real help and that pleasing you is difficult. Hormonal changes: Teenagers go through extensive physical changes during adolescence. It may result in rash decision making and impulsive behavior. Though raging hormones can't take the sole blame for bad behavior in teenagers, they have a role to play.

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What age are boys hardest to parent?

A recent survey showed that parents of 12- to 14-year-old teens had a harder time than parents of toddlers, elementary school children, high school children, and adult children.

medicinenet.com - What Age is Hardest to Parent? - MedicineNet

To limit disagreement, you should understand and respect your teen's need for more freedom while setting reasonable limits. Open communication is key for a smooth transition into the later teens years. In severe cases, children can show signs of self-destructive behavior, such as drinking and smoking . They can also act in violent or criminal ways.

How to talk to your teen

When your child was little, you could probably have direct conversations without much trouble. But asking direct questions to middle schoolers, such as "how'd you do on the quiz?", can come across as too much. Indirect communication is more useful. Try to actively listen without much interference or questioning. Listening to your child makes them feel safe enough to tell you what's going on and ask for advice when they need it. Middle schoolers are sensitive to parents' reactions. You should address inappropriate behavior, but try to soften your language so you don't come across overly harsh or judgmental. You should talk to your teen about puberty, drugs, and alcohol. While it may seem too early, some children start using drugs and alcohol at just 9 or 10 years old. Sexual development is also a big part of the early teen years and can be a source of confusion. You don't need to tackle everything in one big talk. Instead, give your child age-appropriate information as they age through middle school. Books like The Boy's Body Book (by Kelli Dunham) and The Care and Keeping of You (by Valarie Schaefer) are good for bringing up the topic of puberty.

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