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What causes poor social skills in kids?

Weak social skills are commonly found in children diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Non-verbal Learning Disability (NVLD), and Social Communication Disorder (SCD).

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What are social skills?

Social skills allow us to create and maintain healthy and satisfying relationships, they help us to know what to say, make good decisions, and how to behave in different social situations. Being skilled in social interactions leads to increased success in academic performance, behavior, social and family relationships, and involvement in extracurricular activities.1 While we can all have awkward social moments, children and adolescents with social skill weaknesses routinely have trouble connecting with people and making and keeping friends.2 For these children, learning to get along with others is challenging, whether at school, in sports, or with friends.3 If you notice your child displaying issues with social skills at a young age, our early intervention services for infants and toddlers can help them improve these skills before they get too difficult to manage.

What are examples of social skill deficits?

Symptoms seen in children with weak social skills can include difficulty in any or all of the following three steps involved in social interaction:2,4

Perception:

Doesn’t understand facial expressions or body language

Is a poor listener and looses the point of what is being said

Has little interest in social interactions

Not noticing rejection actions by others

Interpretation:

Is overly literal and doesn’t get sarcasm

Doesn’t know how to properly greet people, request information or gain attention

Has difficulty with perspective taking

Response:

Interrupts or blurts out answers

Constantly moves arounds and fidgets

Goes off-topic or monopolizes conversations

Doesn’t adapt language to different situations or people

What causes social skills weaknesses?

Children and adolescents can show weaknesses in social skills due to a variety of factors, and deficiencies can become more apparent as children age and social landscapes become more complex. Weak social skills are commonly found in children diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Non-verbal Learning Disability (NVLD), and Social Communication Disorder (SCD). Environmental factors, past failures, anxiety or depression can also play a role for some children.4

What can be done to treat deficits in social skills?

Many children do not outgrow their weakness in social environments, but social skills training can be effective in improving strategies and creating better social interactions.5 Social skills group can offer kids and teens a safe place to learn and practice social skills with peers, striving to create a more “natural” social interaction.6

2 Understood.org

6 LD OnLine: McIntyre, T. (6/23/06) Teaching Social Skills to Kids Who Don’t Have Them

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What are signs of a toxic family?

9 signs of a toxic family member or household: They're abusive. You feel depressed or anxious around them. They're always criticizing or blaming you. They're manipulative. Punishment is unwarrantedly harsh. The household or family member can be unpredictable. They're dismissive of your needs. More items... •

When it comes to handling toxic relatives in the moment, Nuñez says it's first important to identify what your personal boundaries are so that when they're crossed, you can recognize it and respond. From there, when your boundaries are crossed, you essentially have one of two options: disengage, or face it head-on (of course, knowing the latter is the more volatile option). Nuñez notes that toxic family members often want you to engage—almost like they get off on it. "It's really important to identify what your boundaries are and to express those boundaries to the individual—that this is your bottom line. But if that doesn't go well, then disengage," she says. "Give yourself permission to say, 'Hey, I feel angry or resentful, and I need to talk about this,'" licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli, L.P., previously suggested to mbg. Nuñez adds it's also a good idea to soften your delivery using language that's not directed at them, using "I" statements rather than "you" statements (i.e., "I feel sad when you make negative comments about me," instead of "You always criticize me and make me feel like crap.") And remember, no matter how the conversation goes, you can only control your own actions. While this means the family member in question may still respond in a toxic way, you can control how you respond. "It's really important to empower oneself that you are in control. You are in control of your own behaviors, actions, thoughts, and not the toxic person. So if you do feel like somebody is placing blame or making you feel less than, that's their own stuff," Nuñez says.

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