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What contributes to a child becoming rejected by their peers?

What elicits rejection? Many factors can lead to peer rejection, but the most consistently related factors, especially over the long-term, are aggressive and socially withdrawn behavior. Numerous studies have linked aggressive behavior problems in preschool, middle childhood, and adolescence to rejection from peers.

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Peer Rejection

Childhood peer rejection and its role in the development of psychopathology has received more attention than any other peer-related topic, in part because of its prevalence—approximately 10% to 15% of children are rejected by their peer group. These children are actively disliked by many of their peers and are liked by few or none of them. Peer rejection is a global term that encompasses the many behaviors used by children to exclude and hurt one another, including overt forms of control and exclusion and more subtle tactics, such as gossiping and spreading rumors. These methods, whether overt or covert, account for variance in children’s maladjustment and social acceptance above and beyond the effects of aggressive behaviors. It is not simply being the recipient of aggressive acts that is linked to maladaptive outcomes, but being the recipient of coordinated efforts that keep an individual outside the boundaries of the peer group. The short-term and long-term consequences of peer rejection are quite serious. In the short-term, these children often experience loneliness, low self-esteem, and social anxiety. Long-term consequences include poor academic performance, school dropout, juvenile delinquency, criminal behavior, and mental health problems, particularly externalizing ones, in adolescence and adulthood. What elicits rejection? Many factors can lead to peer rejection, but the most consistently related factors, especially over the long-term, are aggressive and socially withdrawn behavior. Numerous studies have linked aggressive behavior problems in preschool, middle childhood, and adolescence to rejection from peers. Aggressive play with peers in early childhood is linked to behavioral maladjustment and difficulties with peers in middle childhood. Hostile behavior and withdrawal from social interaction in middle childhood is predictive of antisocial behavior in adolescence, extreme forms of teenage delinquency, externalizing problems in late adolescence, drug use in adulthood, and problems in other social relationships. Aggressive children are more likely to be avoided and actively targeted than nonaggressive children because the larger group seeks to isolate individuals who tend to disrupt normal peer interaction. At the same time, the experience of being rejected serves to perpetuate aggressive and externalizing problems, partly by limiting the amount and quality of the rejected child’s socialization by his or her peers. Despite clear links between aggression and rejection, not all aggressive children are rejected (Parkhurst and Asher, 1992). Approximately one third of aggressive elementary school–age children and two thirds of aggressive young adolescents are not rejected. Several factors seem to differentiate children who become rejected and children who do not. Aggressive children who are rejected tend to engage in more instrumental aggression or aggression designed to reach a specific goal; they are more likely to instigate and escalate aggressive interchanges; and they are more likely to be argumentative, disruptive, inattentive, off-task, and hyperactive.

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Children’s self-perceptions may be important in assessing the likelihood of negative outcomes (Patterson et al, 1990; Reinherz et al, 2000). Many rejected children describe themselves in negative terms—they say that they are less competent socially, they feel more anxious, and they expect less positive social outcomes than other children. Despite these negative self-portrayals, however, rejected children often rate themselves higher on positive indices than parents or peers, perhaps as a face-saving defense tactic. Finally, several more recent studies suggest that self-perceptions of being rejected (whether or not peer rejection is truly present) are significantly implicated in the cause of depression and suicidal ideation in childhood and adolescence. Peer rejection, including its concomitant and long-term consequences, is an extremely difficult process to derail, in part because of its stability. Almost half of rejected children are rejected 1 year later, and 30% remain rejected after 4 years. In addition, many rejected children quickly become disliked again when put into new groups of children.

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