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What does it mean when a child can't sleep alone?

Separation anxiety, a fear of being away from parents or loved ones, is common in younger children. It can sometimes manifest as reluctance to go to bed, a fear of being alone, or a fear that something bad will happen if the child is out of sight of the parent.

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It’s 9pm. The homework is done, the dishes are washed, and your kiddo is bathed and tucked into bed. Stories have been read! Cuddles have been given! You’ve made it to the end of the day! Time for a celebratory Netflix episode, or a chapter in that book you keep telling yourself you’re going to finish…and then you hear the pitter patter of little feet in the hallway, and your door creaks open. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you are not alone! In this post, I’ll be sharing suggestions to help a child who can’t sleep through the night.

When Your Child Can’t Sleep Alone, Bedtime Becomes a Problem

Insomnia is one of the most common concerns I hear about in my child therapy office. This can mean a child is having trouble going to bed, falling asleep, or staying asleep. Sometimes, a child is able to fall asleep with no problem—as long as a parent stays in the room all night long. Insomnia is a frequent complaint for both kids and adults, but children’s sleep problems can be especially tough on a family. When a child isn’t sleeping well, it weighs on everybody in the household. Not only is the child not getting enough sleep to function, but parents and siblings may also be getting their rest interrupted by the child’s frequent waking,. This maked things harder for everyone the following morning.

The Insomnia Vicious Cycle

Many of us will have trouble sleeping at some point in life, especially when we’re stressed. Sometimes, a child’s sleepless nights resolve by themselves once the stress is gone. For other children, sleep problems are not so easily solved. The insomnia can go on for weeks, months, or longer. Sleep is important to a child’s emotional well-being, children who have trouble sleeping for prolonged periods often enter a vicious cycle. The lack of sleep leads to increased anxiety and difficulty concentrating, which in turn makes it even harder to sleep the following night. With help from parents, and sometimes with extra support from a child counselor, children and families can break this cycle, and help everyone to get a better night’s sleep.

Sleeping Through The Night Helps Children’s Physical and Mental Growth

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Good quality sleep is especially important children who are still growing. It has a direct impact on their ability to grow physically, mentally and emotionally. During sleep, kids release growth hormones that they need to develop and mature. Sleep is also critical for learning. It helps children to retain and store information they’ve learned, and makes them more able to focus and learn at school the next day. Sleep is really important for kids’ emotional health, too. Sleep problems can contribute to anxiety, depression, and ADHD. In fact, poor sleep can even trigger emotional problems, and make it more difficult for people to cope. Studies have shown that disturbed sleep can lead to symptoms of depression, and that depressed people who aren’t sleeping well are less likely to respond to treatment than those who are getting a good night’s rest.

How Much Sleep Do Kids Need Each Night?

More than you might think! No two kids are exactly alike, and different kids may be able to get by with different amounts of sleep. The National Sleep Foundation has set guidelines to help make sure your child’s sleep time is in the right ballpark. For toddlers between ages 1 and 2, the Foundation recommends 11-14 hours of sleep per day, which usually includes a daytime nap. Preschoolers (age 3 to 5) generally need 10-13 hours a day, and may still nap. By elementary and middle school (age 6 to 13), it is recommended that children sleep between 9 and 11 hours a night. You know your child’s rhythms best. Helping him to establish a healthy sleep schedule within these guidelines will ensure that he’s getting the rest he needs to grow, both physically and emotionally.

What Causes Childhood Insomnia and Sleep Problems?

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