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What emotions might a survivor have?

Guilt and self-blame – feeling that somehow your survival is at the expense of those who died or were injured. Unworthiness – feeling that people should be spared because they are special, good, worthy or have some special gift – and feeling that those conditions don't apply to you.

betterhealth.vic.gov.au - Survivor reactions to traumatic events - Better Health Channel

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Surviving a traumatic event

When a traumatic event occurs, surviving the event may depend on training, experience or fast reactions. It may also come down to where you happened to be in relation to the danger as the event unfolded. If you have survived a traumatic event, whether you were injured or physically unharmed, it is important to recognise that trauma also causes emotional harm. Survival is often associated with complex emotional reactions that cause distress and make it hard to resume everyday life after the event. These are known as ‘survivor reactions’.

What are common survivor reactions to a traumatic event?

You could be feeling a number of common emotional responses as a survivor of a traumatic event: Guilt and self-blame – feeling that somehow your survival is at the expense of those who died or were injured. – feeling that somehow your survival is at the expense of those who died or were injured. Unworthiness – feeling that people should be spared because they are special, good, worthy or have some special gift – and feeling that those conditions don’t apply to you. – feeling that people should be spared because they are special, good, worthy or have some special gift – and feeling that those conditions don’t apply to you. I should not have survived – feeling that you should have died along with the others and should not be alive, making you feel unable to resume your old life. – feeling that you should have died along with the others and should not be alive, making you feel unable to resume your old life. Loss of connection to your old life – a dramatic, unusual event does not fit into the life you were living previously and you don’t feel able to go back to ordinary, everyday concerns when so many other lives are permanently altered, and those around you may not understand. – a dramatic, unusual event does not fit into the life you were living previously and you don’t feel able to go back to ordinary, everyday concerns when so many other lives are permanently altered, and those around you may not understand. Disorientation – the feeling of not knowing what it all means as you have never before had a similar experience. – the feeling of not knowing what it all means as you have never before had a similar experience. Anger and blame towards others – there is often a preoccupation with whose fault it was and strong feelings of anger and blame towards them, or emergency services, the government or others in authority. These feelings may prevent acceptance of the event and cause ongoing distress. – there is often a preoccupation with whose fault it was and strong feelings of and blame towards them, or emergency services, the government or others in authority. These feelings may prevent acceptance of the event and cause ongoing distress. A positive reaction – you may find that the experience of survival has a dramatic positive effect on you, making you feel that: life has new meaning (perhaps the event has inspired or strengthened humanitarian or spiritual values) you appreciate everyday things and no longer take them for granted you have a renewed sense of purpose to make the best use of the time available to you you have an increased appreciation of your relationships with family and friends you value community more strongly. – you may find that the experience of survival has a dramatic positive effect on you, making you feel that:

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Any survivor of a traumatic incident can experience these feelings, including helpers, witnesses, emergency first responders, family members and healthcare providers.

Why do feelings of guilt and unworthiness develop?

Members of a community take care of each other by being considerate, polite and abiding by social rules even when they do not know each other. During everyday life this bond between people sits in the background. When something goes wrong, the bond people feel for each other comes into the foreground. They rush to help anyone in need regardless of whether they know them or not. They are caring and concerned, showing the underlying emotional involvement with other people that holds society together. If you have seen others die or become injured, or tried to help someone during a traumatic event, your bond with them can become emotionally energised and can feel as strong as the bond you have to the people closest to you. You may, therefore, feel strongly attached to the other people involved in the event. Consequently, you may have a similar emotional reaction to their death or injury as you would to that of a close friend or family member. A common reaction to the death or injury of someone you are strongly connected to is feelings of guilt and unworthiness: that you should have suffered or died instead. Why you may feel disconnected from your old life after a traumatic event Close involvement with death and injury can evoke significant and overwhelming emotional reactions that make it hard to feel motivated to go back to routine tasks. These emotions are unfamiliar, strong and demand attention, but have no connection to your everyday life. As a result, your old life no longer seems to have the same importance as before. If there is no way of expressing or understanding the complex feelings that you are having, it can lead to a sense of disorientation and lost connection with your old life. The disconnection may be from people who are close to you; from activities like your work or social life; or from things that were previously meaningful, like religion, hobbies and sports. You may also have feelings of disconnection from the person you felt you were before the event.

When to seek help for survivor reactions to a traumatic event

Survivor reactions are a normal consequence of being involved in a traumatic event. However, if they do not start resolving after a few weeks, it may result in considerable distress. For some people, this can lead to mental health problems (or worsen mental health problems that they already had before the event), such as post-traumatic stress, depressive reactions or states of anxiety. Early support from trained professionals can prevent complications and help the recovery process. Seek professional help if:

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your reactions are interfering with your day-to-day life and relationships

the event does not seem to fade and your feelings about it are not subsiding

no matter how you look at it, the event doesn’t make sense

you are experiencing loss of interest in previously enjoyable or meaningful activities

you are isolating yourself

you are having difficulties with sleeping , eating, your mood, relationships , work or leisure , eating, your mood, , work or leisure you continue to feel intense emotions such as anger, fear, blame and conflict you are having thoughts of self-punishment or self-harm , or taking risks you wouldn’t normally take.

Self-help for survivor reactions

If you are experiencing survivor reactions to a traumatic event there are a number of things you can do to help yourself. Talk to supportive people who will not judge you. Explaining your emotions may help you to step back and get things into perspective. Don't try to talk yourself out of your reactions – accept them, try to understand them and give yourself time for them to fade, but be aware that logical thinking may not help in overcoming an emotional response to a traumatic event. Accept that you are ‘only human’. All anyone can do in an emergency is what the situation allows. Try not to compare yourself with others – everyone is different. Instead, try to evaluate your situation on its own merits and don’t expect more of yourself than you can do. Don't try to ‘work off’ guilt by setting high standards of achievement as it rarely eases feelings of unworthiness. Instead, try to confront what is driving your feelings. Try to accept the experience as part of life’s journey rather than a problem you have to solve or explain.

Information in your language

Where to get help for survivor reactions

General telephone counselling services can provide advice:

betterhealth.vic.gov.au - Survivor reactions to traumatic events - Better Health Channel

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