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What is negative parenting?

Negative parenting is a culmination of neglectful or harmful actions and behaviors that can impact a child's development and mental well-being, sometimes into adulthood. While some actions might be purposeful, parents often do not realize their actions — or lack thereof — can have a lasting effect on their child.

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Parenting styles can have a lasting impact on kids, even into adulthood. Here’s how to recognize the signs. Without a doubt, parenting is one of the hardest jobs out there. It can be rewarding, frustrating, exciting, and challenging all at the same time. As a parent, you might question yourself daily about whether you’re making the right decisions if your kids will be OK, and what you could have done differently. Parenting can be uncharted territory. You may try to emulate your upbringing and apply it to how you raise your children. Teaching your kids the values and beliefs you learned might be important to you, but it can be hard to find a parenting style that also embraces the ways the world has changed since your childhood. Everyone parents differently, and most parents tend to experiment with different parenting styles. Some parents may be lax and lenient whereas others might be strict or overprotective. One family might value freedom of expression, while another focuses on creating a structure with rules. But it’s important to understand how negative parenting styles can cause harm to the emotional, social, and physical well-being of your child. What is ‘negative’ parenting? Negative parenting is a culmination of neglectful or harmful actions and behaviors that can impact a child’s development and mental well-being, sometimes into adulthood. While some actions might be purposeful, parents often do not realize their actions — or lack thereof — can have a lasting effect on their child. Negative parenting can include: harmful words and emotions directed at a child

repeated criticism without guidance or recognition of accomplishments

a lack of respect and trust

incessant reprimands

lack of praise

using comparisons to shame or degrade a child

Negative parenting styles Overall, there are four main types of parenting styles. Three can be considered neglectful and potentially detrimental to child development. Authoritarian parenting Authoritarian parenting is often characterized by: strict enforcement of rules

emotional unavailability

one-way communication

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demanding unrealistic expectations

low sensitivity to the child’s feelings This parenting style is often equated with “tough love” and phrases like, “I told you so.” Many experts consider authoritarian parenting to be a negative parenting style. Permissive parenting Permissive parenting is also considered a negative parenting style by experts and often involves parents who: are openly communicative but low in responsiveness

lack of consistency and follow-through with rules and expectations

teach minimal direction and guidance

avoid conflict at all costs

give in to their child’s demands Neglectful parenting A neglectful parenting style is often characterized by parents who: are neglectful, emotionally unavailable, or unresponsive

do not provide guidance or nurturance

let kids “fend for themselves,” often causing them to grow up too soon or miss out on childhood are unaware of important details in their kids’ lives, such as who their teachers and friends are Experts agree that neglectful parenting is a negative parenting style. Children raised with this parenting style might have difficulty with certain issues well into adulthood, like: low self-esteem

forming and maintaining relationships

understanding safety

Signs of negative parenting It’s common for parents to second-guess your parenting decisions. If you’re questioning whether you might be engaging in a negative parenting style, here are some signs to watch out for. Over or under involvement Your level of involvement in your child’s life can be a sign of poor parenting, whether inserted into every aspect of your child’s life or entirely out of the picture. Kids need their parents to be present to feel supported. Too much or too little involvement can be detrimental to their well-being. Withholding affection or attention Children need attention and affection from their parents. If you are emotionally unavailable or refuse to acknowledge your child’s need for attachment, you might engage in a negative parenting style. Kids who are ignored by parents or whose accomplishments go unnoticed may experience the detrimental effects of neglectful parenting, which can continue into adulthood. Shame and guilt Shame and guilt are powerful emotions, especially for children who may not be able to handle big feelings yet. Parents who shame or guilt trip their kids can make them feel as if they aren’t good enough. This kind of behavior can be a hallmark of negative parenting. Balance of discipline Consistently maintaining a balance of discipline and realistic consequences can be very important for childhood development. Households with zero discipline may be setting kids up for failure. Children who do not learn boundaries may be more likely to participate in harmful behaviors and exhibit a lack of self-control. On the other hand, overly strict or rigid, fear-based rules can drive kids to act out or rebel. Controlling parenting may contribute to certain mental health conditions, such as: anxiety

depression

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obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

Effects of poor parenting on kids The effects of poor parenting can affect a child for years, sometimes well into adulthood. Kids raised within negative parenting styles often deal with: negative self-perception and low self-esteem control issues, such as pushing limits and boundaries to see what they can get away with

rebelling against authoritative figures, like parents and teachers

a higher likelihood of breaking the law as they grow up

antisocial behaviors and aggression

low resilience and indifference

difficulty forming meaningful relationships

Negative parenting and child aggression Children who are raised with negative parenting styles may be more likely to display: aggression

defiance

explosive behaviors Aggression in children can involve: cruelty or physical harm toward other people and animals

disagreeability

threatening behavior

defiance

destruction of property According to a 2008 study, early childhood neglect and maltreatment may be as powerful as experiencing child abuse for predicting aggressive behaviors in kids. Researchers found that children who were neglected by their parents or primary caregiver before their second birthday exhibited higher levels of aggression between ages 4 and 8.

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