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What is the average age to stop sleeping with your parents?

We found that the average age that a child stops sleeping in their parents' bed on a regular basis is over 7 years old, and that many parents lie about the situation to friends and families. Overall, some 87% of our 2740 respondents said that their child had slept in the parental bed at least once.

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Our latest investigation in to the sleep habits of the nation took a look at the controversial issue of co-sleeping with children, and uncovered a number of surprising statistics. We found that the average age that a child stops sleeping in their parents’ bed on a regular basis is over 7 years old, and that many parents lie about the situation to friends and families. Overall, some 87% of our 2740 respondents said that their child had slept in the parental bed at least once. The reasons behind allowing this to happen were varied, with the top five being; Too tired to deal with the child not sleeping in their own bed – 24% Child was distressed (poorly or unsettled) – 22% Fell asleep while cuddling in bed – 16% Partner wasn’t home and felt lonely – 15% Woke up to find them in bed – 14%

So, why is the issue of co-sleeping seen as controversial?

It’s interesting that such a high number of respondents said that they’d allowed their child to sleep in their bed at some stage. With the often severe sleep deprivation that can enter everyone’s lives when a new born baby arrives home, or the exhausting demands of caring for a poorly toddler who cannot sleep, or any number of difficult parenting situations besides, it’s almost inevitable that co-sleeping will take place at some stage for most parents. Proponents of co-sleeping highlight the special bonding that it can create when the child is very young, a precious and important part of their lives. However, the potential issue arises when co-sleeping happens for a sustained period of time, particularly considering the importance of setting a sleep routine for the child. While a night or two of co-sleeping may result in some much sought-after sleep, if it goes on for long time it will may prove to be a false economy by creating problems further down the line.

Important routine

Setting a regular bedtime routine is vitally important for a child, in order to create positive associations with sleep in general. By following a relaxing routine – which could include such calming activities as a bath and reading – a child is far more likely to find themselves in their own bed when they’re tired, settled and ready to sleep. Contrast this approach with sleeping in the parental bed, and the entire family’s bedtime routine effectively ends up being dictated by the child. Also, the eventual transition to their own bed is delayed by co-sleeping, and likely to prove more of a challenge when the time comes. Sharing a bed with your child may not even be a particularly restful approach. In fact, our survey revealed that those who regularly slept in the same bed as their child missed out on an average of 2 hours and 39 minutes of sleep per night, compared to when they slept without their child.

Telling lies

We thought that a particularly interesting finding from our survey was that a third (34%) of respondents who said that they regularly co-slept with their child admitted to lying about it when the subject came up in conversation with family and friends. This suggests that co-sleeping is seen by some as a negative practice. Of course, everyone is different and what works for one family may by no means work for all families. However, making the effort to establish a positive bedtime routine for a child when the time is right is a great way to ensure that everyone – the child and the parents – will get the sleep they need.

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