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That's because, of all the negative emotions, envy is one of the most self-destructive—those who are in the throes of it end up hurting themselves in many ways, because envy engenders a family of related feelings, including frustration, sadness, indignation, resentment and anger.
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Read More »If envy were tangible and had a shape, American syndicated columnist Charley Reese once said, it would be the shape of a boomerang. That's because, of all the negative emotions, envy is one of the most self-destructive—those who are in the throes of it end up hurting themselves in many ways, because envy engenders a family of related feelings, including frustration, sadness, indignation, resentment and anger. Of course, no one readily admits to feeling envy. It carries with it guilt, shame and embarrassment and is seen as a sign of weakness. But the truth is, everyone has experienced it at some time or other, and those who say they haven't are either saints or liars. "Envy, the unpleasant emotion that can arise when we compare unfavorably with others, is a common experience for most people regardless of culture," says Richard H. Smith, the lead researcher on envy at Kentucky University. Just whom do we envy? Scientists show that we envy people we consider similar to ourselves but who appear to have greater advantage in an area that's linked to our self-worth, such as our professional accomplishments. If you experience envy and the related emotions of discontent in a business environment, what can you do to manage these emotions to your advantage? Here are eight ideas:
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Read More »Given the inherent competitive nature of organizational life, it's quite easy to unwittingly create situations that provoke envy among staff members. Use fairness in the way you promote people, guard against using praise of some employees as a manipulative strategy to make others feel bad, and avoid playing favorites. In Managing Envy and Jealousy in the Workplace, researchers Kim Dogan and the late Robert P. Vecchio recommend a few other strategies for reducing and managing envy in the workplace: Pay attention to the emotional maturity of those you hire, establish a team culture and a participative management, tie incentives to cooperation, promote open communication, and place high performers who often give rise to envy in mentor roles.
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Read More »Walt Whitman once said, "The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give." Get in the habit of appreciating the success of others without feeling diminished yourself. Send an email to congratulate a business associate on their success, pick up the phone to compliment someone on her achievement, praise someone for a stellar presentation, and share others' good news with your network. The more you practice these gestures, the more you expand your capacity for generosity and lessen those feelings of envy. In the end, you need to come to terms with the fact that indulging in envy is a waste of mental energy and a productivity killer. As Joseph Epstein, author of Envy: The Seven Deadly Sins, puts it, envy is "very poor mental hygiene." It blocks out clarity both about ourselves and those we envy and lowers our opinion of ourselves. "Envy clouds thoughts," Epstein says, "clobbers generosity, precludes any hope of serenity, and ends in shriveling the heart." These are all reasons enough to fight it through self-honesty, self-analysis and emotional intelligence. Bruna Martinuzzi is the founder of Clarion Enterprises Ltd., and the author of two books, Presenting with Credibility: Practical Tools and Techniques for Effective Presentations and The Leader as a Mensch: Become the Kind of Person Others Want to Follow.
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