What is the oldest child syndrome?

What Is Oldest Child Syndrome? Oldest Child Syndrome is believed by some to be evidence of common characteristics that can be attributed to birth order. These traits of first-born children include a sense of entitlement, responsibility, and ambition.

choosingtherapy.com - Oldest (First) Child Syndrome: 10 Common Characteristics

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What Is Oldest Child Syndrome?

Oldest Child Syndrome is believed by some to be evidence of common characteristics that can be attributed to birth order. These traits of first-born children include a sense of entitlement, responsibility, and ambition. Many of the qualities of oldest child syndrome stem from taking care of younger siblings, which contribute to the development of a mature and effective leader. Nevertheless, the stress that comes from feeling “dethroned” by the birth of younger siblings may also result in some less than positive qualities such as jealousy and competitiveness.1 As an oldest child myself, I can attest to the validity of my leadership skills, while my younger brother would most likely say “bossy” is the correct term. From my personal experience, I believe my intelligence and strong sense of self can be related to the four years of the undivided attention I received from my parents in childhood. However, when my little brother came along, I felt dethroned, now having to share the kingdom with another. Furthermore, this inevitably contributed to my tendency to experience jealousy and resentment for things that are “unfair”. Moreover, firstborns end up being the “guinea pig” for their parents who are learning what works and what does not with child rearing. For example, the oldest will often have the strictest rules–from bedtime to curfew–among other limitations that are relaxed for younger siblings. My parents did not allow me to do things that my younger brother was able to do at a much younger age. I had to wait until 18 to get a body piercing; but, seeing that this was not as bad as my parents assumed it would be, they allowed my brother to have the same one at–gasp–14! Experiences such as these can ultimately influence a child well into adulthood, resulting in what has been coined as oldest child syndrome.

What Does Research Say About Oldest Child Syndrome?

Alfred Adler first studied the concept of birth order with his research suggesting that this factor contributes to many aspects of one’s personality. His theory argues that children often display a set of characteristics unique to their position in the family.2 Since then, this theory has been debated, but it remains one of the founding ideas of personality. Still, many other elements also affect one’s personality, such as their environment and unique familial factors. Adler himself suggested that community, family, and other areas of a person’s life also shape the development of their personality.2

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Characteristics of Oldest Children

Because of their unique position within a family, an oldest child becomes used to being the sole focus of their parents’ attention. They have also spent more time alone with adults in general than with other siblings. While this may happen at an age when they don’t necessarily remember it, it occurs during a crucial time in brain development. Because of children’s tendency to learn by example, they naturally develop more advocacy and language skills; these skills are then reinforced within the family system. For instance, parents may instill maturity and leadership skills in a child who is ten with a younger sibling who is six. Yet, when that younger sibling turns eight and the oldest child is now 12, the oldest sibling is still seen as a leader. As a child, I remember being expected to take the brunt of the chores, because my little brother was only ten. However, when he turned 14, and I was 18, I was still expected to do more. According to some experts, if a sibling is born more than three years after the oldest, or if there is a change in gender, then these siblings can also take on many of the characteristics of first-born children.1,3 But, this is also dependent on many factors such as how these expectations and behaviors are reinforced, cultural differences, among others. For example, I’ve come across many males who grew up with higher expectations than their older sisters due to familial pressures to “carry on the legacy”. On the other hand, a second born female may be expected to take on the majority of responsibility within a family if an older sibling was born with a disability.

Common characteristics of oldest children include:

choosingtherapy.com - Oldest (First) Child Syndrome: 10 Common Characteristics

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