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Narcissistic personality disorder and the victim mentality Research from 2003 suggests that people high in narcissism may see themselves as victims of interpersonal transgressions more often than people not living with the disorder.
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Read More »Narcissists may play the victim if they believe they gain something from making you feel guilty. Their tendency to use manipulation tactics is one of the formal symptoms of narcissistic personality. Have you ever played the victim? If so, do you remember the emotional need you were trying to fulfill or express while doing so? It’s the same for someone with a narcissistic personality, but they may feel it more often. It can be challenging for you to think of a person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as the victim or someone who feels like one. After all, someone with a narcissistic personality is often thought of as a person with a grandiose sense of self and an unlimited need for power. So, what does it mean when a narcissist plays the victim? Is it on purpose? Is it a manipulation tactic? Do they truly believe they’re being victimized? Narcissistic personality disorder — often referred to as “narcissism” — is a complex mental health condition and never a personal choice. There are many reasons why a narcissist plays the victim and the type of narcissism they live with may be one. Narcissistic personality disorder and the victim mentality Research from 2003 suggests that people high in narcissism may see themselves as victims of interpersonal transgressions more often than people not living with the disorder. In a 2020 qualitative study , relatives of people with narcissistic personalities reported that their loved ones often showed a victim mentality. Whether narcissists really feel like a victim or just play the victim role to tweak social interactions to their benefit isn’t always clear. If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder, you may have noticed that they lack both self-awareness and self-reflection. In general, people with narcissistic personalities have a difficult time being aware of their behaviors and how these affect others. They might not be able to “see it” even when you point it out to them. This is why they might feel attacked when you contradict them or tell them they’ve done something wrong. This just doesn’t align with their inflated sense of self. This is part of the complexity of narcissistic personality disorder. The tendency to have low introspection combined with an exaggerated sense of superiority may leave them unable to see the situation in a way that doesn’t fit their worldview. As a result, they may “play the victim role” in some scenarios. Why a narcissist plays the victim may be directly connected to some of the symptoms of NPD: sense of entitlement
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Read More »Rage It can sometimes be difficult for people with narcissistic personality disorder to take criticism or rejection. This might make them react in several ways — one of them is rage. In this case, experts refer to it as narcissistic rage or narcissistic collapse. One aspect of rage is feeling like the victim of someone else’s attacks. “I’m enraged because you attacked me.” Another aspect is that even when a narcissist doesn’t feel like somebody else’s victim, they may realize that playing this part may make others back off and take back what enraged them in the first place. In other words, if you feel someone’s doing something you don’t like, and that makes you mad, playing the victim can make the other person change their ways. Every person will respond differently. Some narcissistic people may attack you or treat you in a vindictive way whenever they feel rage, while others play the victim instead. Low empathy Guilt is a human emotion that tends to keep us in check. When balanced, guilt may act as a deterrent for antisocial behavior. Research suggests that some people with both vulnerable and grandiose narcissism may not experience guilt in some situations. This might make them more likely to use manipulation tactics to get what they need. Low empathy also makes it difficult for someone with NPD to understand where you’re coming from. This might lead them to believe you’re attacking them. For example, if you’re expressing how hurt you feel for something they’ve done, they might not see it your way. They might not understand why that behavior would hurt you. For them, you could be complaining and treating them unfairly. In that scenario, they may think of themselves as the victim, even if you’re just saying you’re hurt or upset. Low empathy might also lead them to use psychological games — like playing the victim — to get what they want, even if you get hurt. How to protect yourself Even if you understand that narcissistic personality disorder is a complex mental health condition and not a personal choice, it can feel overwhelming to have someone frequently feeling or acting like a victim. You might hope they change or grow out of it. You may even try to convince them to change their ways. While this might work with someone without the condition who plays the victim, it won’t likely work for someone with NPD. Some narcissistic people do develop new social skills with the help of a mental health professional. However, it can often be challenging for them to stay in therapy. In the meantime, learning to recognize games they might play, and setting clear boundaries can help you cope. Here are a few tips to consider if a narcissist is playing the victim: Try not to take it personally. This is never easy, but with practice you can do it. This is never easy, but with practice you can do it. Don’t take the bait. If possible, walk away every time they treat you like the bad guy.
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Read More »If possible, walk away every time they treat you like the bad guy. Don’t internalize it. They might say a few hurtful things when they’re playing the victim, but those words don’t define you. They might say a few hurtful things when they’re playing the victim, but those words don’t define you. Don’t idealize them. It’s natural to second-guess yourself and consider if you’re really mistreating them. Trust their actions more than their words. It’s natural to second-guess yourself and consider if you’re really mistreating them. Trust their actions more than their words. Don’t engage. It’s not uncommon to react in the same way someone is treating you. However, avoid the need to play the victim with them, even if they really aren’t being fair to you.
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