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What should you not say to someone who is insecure?

5 Things To Never Say To A Person With Low Self-Esteem “Look even I have problems” When you are with a person with low self-esteem, don't go on and on about how your life is so troubled because of your flaws. ... “You are so beautiful. ... “Can you be more confident, please?” ... “You are just fishing for compliments, aren't you?”

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Low self-esteem is a real problem for those who deal with it. When I say real I mean it's legitimately mortifying for the people who have to deal with it. Others think that it is just a character adjustment that is needed to deal with the problem of low-self esteem; these are the same people who think depression is just a mood swing. But either way, there are a few things, just like this one, that one just shouldn’t say to people with low self-esteem. Obviously, a lot also depends on how things are said and in what context, but largely, here are a few things you should avoid saying.

“Love yourself”

So the thing is, it is not so much about loving yourself but embracing the insecurities, discovering strengths and growing on the latter for a person with low self-esteem. It is easy to ask someone to love self but it might be the actual problem.

“Look even I have problems”

When you are with a person with low self-esteem, don’t go on and on about how your life is so troubled because of your flaws. What it will do is not remind them that everyone has flaws but bring their own flaws under the microscope. Not something you want happening.

“You are so beautiful. And pretty. And…”

While you may be thinking that giving them a round of compliments will help a person with low self-esteem, let me break it to you - they will not believe it because they don’t believe in those things themselves. It doesn’t work like a medicine. However, sincere and honest compliments in that don’t come in bundles and aren’t too obvious do tend to work. You can always compliment them about something that is outstanding about their look or personality, rather than a standard set of obvious untrue compliments.

“Can you be more confident, please?”

Umm, hi. If the person would have been able to do that, he wouldn't be facing half the issues, would they? Stating the obvious is more counterproductive than anything. Instead of pointing it out maybe you can listen to them talk about their issues and help them build on their confidence.

“You are just fishing for compliments, aren’t you?”

Really, don’t even say that. Just don’t even get there. More than anything you should run away from the spot if you say something like this because it is absolutely infuriating. (Also Read: Retard. Crazy. The Words That Indicate How India Perceives Mental Illness) Keep it real, that works the best. Maybe remind the person that it is okay to perceive flaws as long as they are slowly working on it. Also, empathy, not pity, goes a long way.

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