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What things parents should not do to their child?

10 Things Parents Should NEVER Do Ignore their brain. Their brain controls everything they do—how they think, behave, and relate to others. ... Rarely spend quality time with them. ... Be a poor listener. ... Use name-calling. ... Be overly permissive. ... Fail to supervise them. ... Do as I say, not as I do. ... Only notice what they do wrong. More items... •

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It’s common for parents to focus on what they need to do in order to raise healthy kids, but they often overlook what they should NOT do. So, if you love your children and want to help them grow into stable, thoughtful, productive, and loving adults, here are 10 things you should avoid doing.

10 Things Parents Should NEVER Do

1. Ignore their brain.

Their brain controls everything they do—how they think, behave, and relate to others. When their brain works right, they work right, but when their brain is troubled, they have trouble in life. And if they have problems in their life, you have problems in yours. Brain SPECT imaging reveals the health of a person’s brain. The SPECT images below show a healthy brain, one with a traumatic brain injury (TBI), and the brain of someone with ADD/ADHD. If you want your child to be their best, you must teach them to take care of their brain.

Healthy SPECT Brain Scan: full, symmetrical activity

Head Trauma: damage to right frontal lobe

2. Rarely spend quality time with them.

Healthy parent-child relationships require special time together. One of the most effective things you can do is spend at least 20 minutes of quality time each day with your child—listening and doing something they want to do (within reason). Silence your phone so you can pay 100% attention to your child. Research has found that when parents are always distracted by their devices children can act out and behave poorly in order to get their attention.

3. Be a poor listener.

When your kids are trying to talk to you, don’t speak over them. Learn to be an active listener. Let them say what they need to and then repeat back what you heard so they know you are listening.

4. Use name-calling.

Don’t tell your child, “You’re a spoiled brat” or say they are stupid when they’ve made a mistake or done something wrong. This is not helpful for their development. They will internalize these negative names and begin to believe them, which can adversely affect their self-esteem.

5. Be overly permissive.

Letting your kids do whatever they want may make them “happy” in the moment, but it can be detrimental in the long run. Children need clear boundaries to help them understand what is and is not ok. Do this by being firm but kind. Kids who have the most psychological problems usually have parents who don’t set boundaries for them.

6. Fail to supervise them.

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The brain’s frontal lobes—which are involved in planning, judgment, and impulse control—are not fully developed until about age 25. Therefore, you need to act as your children’s frontal lobes until theirs develop. This means checking in on what your kids are doing and with whom and helping them make good decisions. This doesn’t make you a helicopter parent—rather, it shows how much you care.

7. Do as I say, not as I do.

If you’re a poor role model, your kids will pick up on that and follow your lead. If you say, “eat your vegetables” but you constantly snack on candy or potato chips, they will likely opt for the foods they see you eating.

8. Only notice what they do wrong.

Kids want the attention of their parents, but many only get it when they’ve done something wrong, which reinforces the negative behaviors. Instead of doing that, notice when your kids do things you like—cleaning up their room, finishing their homework, or brushing their teeth—and praise them for their positive behavior.

9. Ignore their mental health issues.

On average, it takes 11 years from the time a child starts to develop symptoms of a mental health condition to when they are seen for their first psychiatric evaluation. In the meantime, children with untreated symptoms of ADD/ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or other issues can struggle to succeed in school, in their friendships, and in life.

10. Ignore your own mental health.

If you are suffering from any mental health problems, it can devastate your children. Remember the saying, “Put on your own oxygen mask first.” You need to take care of yourself and be the best version of yourself so you can also be the best parent to them. Behavior problems, ADHD, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can’t wait. At Amen Clinics, we’re here for you. We offer in-clinic brain scanning and appointments, as well as mental telehealth, clinical evaluations, and therapy for adults, teens, children, and couples. Find out more by speaking to a specialist today at 888-288-9834 or visit our contact page here.

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