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Why does my child lack social skills?

Weak social skills are commonly found in children diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Non-verbal Learning Disability (NVLD), and Social Communication Disorder (SCD).

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What are social skills?

Social skills allow us to create and maintain healthy and satisfying relationships, they help us to know what to say, make good decisions, and how to behave in different social situations. Being skilled in social interactions leads to increased success in academic performance, behavior, social and family relationships, and involvement in extracurricular activities.1 While we can all have awkward social moments, children and adolescents with social skill weaknesses routinely have trouble connecting with people and making and keeping friends.2 For these children, learning to get along with others is challenging, whether at school, in sports, or with friends.3 If you notice your child displaying issues with social skills at a young age, our early intervention services for infants and toddlers can help them improve these skills before they get too difficult to manage.

What are examples of social skill deficits?

Symptoms seen in children with weak social skills can include difficulty in any or all of the following three steps involved in social interaction:2,4

Perception:

Doesn’t understand facial expressions or body language

Is a poor listener and looses the point of what is being said

Has little interest in social interactions

Not noticing rejection actions by others

Interpretation:

Is overly literal and doesn’t get sarcasm

Doesn’t know how to properly greet people, request information or gain attention

Has difficulty with perspective taking

Response:

Interrupts or blurts out answers

Constantly moves arounds and fidgets

Goes off-topic or monopolizes conversations

Doesn’t adapt language to different situations or people

What causes social skills weaknesses?

Children and adolescents can show weaknesses in social skills due to a variety of factors, and deficiencies can become more apparent as children age and social landscapes become more complex. Weak social skills are commonly found in children diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Non-verbal Learning Disability (NVLD), and Social Communication Disorder (SCD). Environmental factors, past failures, anxiety or depression can also play a role for some children.4

What can be done to treat deficits in social skills?

Many children do not outgrow their weakness in social environments, but social skills training can be effective in improving strategies and creating better social interactions.5 Social skills group can offer kids and teens a safe place to learn and practice social skills with peers, striving to create a more “natural” social interaction.6

2 Understood.org

6 LD OnLine: McIntyre, T. (6/23/06) Teaching Social Skills to Kids Who Don’t Have Them

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What is normal behavior for a 10 year old boy?

At 10, your son likely is still closely attached to you. But they'll start to build stronger ties with friends and classmates, and group identification and peer pressure are growing at this age. Most of their friendships will be with other boys, but they may have more interest in girls.

At age 10, your son is growing steadily. They're starting to solve problems logically and is likely to be more independent.

Your Son’s Body

Your son is likely to stand somewhere between 4 and 5 feet tall at this age. Their weight should be between 65 to 90 pounds. They could grow up to 4 inches a year, but about 2 inches is normal until they start puberty. They’ll be getting stronger, with their balance, stamina, and coordination improving. Their ability to play team sports gets better. They should be able to use some tools, and their ability to do detailed activities like painting may be increasing. They’ll have lot of energy and should be getting at least an hour of physical activity a day. Their diet should be high in fruit and vegetables and lower in fats, added sugar, and salt. Time spent watching television or playing with electronic devices should be limited to 2 hours a day or less. Some of your son’s permanent teeth, particularly the ones closer to the back, are still coming in at this age.

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