Why is my child behavior getting worse?

These can include biological reasons, like being hungry or overtired. It can include communication issues related to learning challenges. It also can include emotional reasons, like not being able to cope with or describe their feelings. Their environment can also influence behavior.

familydoctor.org - What You Can Do to Change Your Child's Behavior - FamilyDoctor.org

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Path to Well Being

The best way to stop unwanted behavior is to ignore it. This way works best over a period of time. When you want the behavior to stop immediately, you can use the time-out method.

How do I use the time-out method?

Decide ahead of time which behaviors require a time out (usually these are tantrums, or aggressive or dangerous behavior). Choose a time-out place with no distractions and not frightening, such as a chair, corner, or playpen. When you’re away from home, consider using a car or a nearby seating area as a time-out place. When the unacceptable behavior occurs, tell the child the behavior is unacceptable and give a warning that you will put him or her in time-out if the behavior doesn’t stop. Remain calm and don’t look angry. If your child continues misbehaving, calmly take him or her to the time-out area. Keep track of how long your child’s been in time out. Set a timer so your child will know when time out is over. Time out should be brief (generally 1 minute for each year of age) and should begin immediately after the behavior or after the child calms down. You should stay within sight or earshot of the child, but don’t talk to him or her. If the child leaves the time-out area, gently return him or her to the area and consider resetting the timer. When the time out is over, let the child leave the time-out place. Don’t discuss the bad behavior but look for ways to reward and reinforce good behavior later on.

How do I encourage a new, desired behavior?

One way to encourage good behavior is to use a reward system. Children eventually learn that bad behavior is unacceptable and good behavior is rewarded. This works best in children older than 2 years of age. It can take up to 2 months to work. Being patient and keeping a diary of behavior can be helpful to parents. Choose 1 to 2 behaviors you would like to change (for example, bedtime habits, teeth brushing, or toy cleanup). Choose a reward your child would enjoy. Examples of good rewards are an extra bedtime story, delaying bedtime by half an hour, a preferred snack, or for older children, stickers, earning points toward a special toy or a privilege. Explain the desired behavior and the reward to the child. For example, tell the child, “If you get into your pajamas and brush your teeth before this TV show is over, you can stay up a half hour later.” Request the behavior only one time. If the child does what you ask, give the reward. You can help the child, if necessary, but don’t get too involved. Because any attention from parents, even negative attention, is so rewarding to children, they may prefer to have a parent’s attention instead of a reward at first. Transition statements, such as, “in 5 minutes, play time will be over,” are helpful when you are teaching your child new behaviors. This system helps you avoid power struggles with your child. However, don’t punish your child if he or she chooses not to behave as you ask. He or she simply does not get the reward.

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What are some good ways to reward my child?

Beat the Clock (good method for a dawdling child)

Ask the child to do a task. Set a timer. If the task is done before the timer rings, your child gets a reward. To decide the amount of time to give the child, figure out your child’s “best time” to do that task and add 5 minutes.

The Good Behavior Game (good for teaching a new behavior)

Write a short list of good behaviors on a chart and mark the chart with a star each time you see the good behavior. After your child has earned a small number of stars (depending on the child’s age), give him or her a reward.

Good Marks/Bad Marks (best method for difficult, highly active children)

In a short time (about an hour) put a mark on a chart or on your child’s hand each time you see him or her performing a good behavior. For example, if you see your child playing quietly, solving a problem without fighting, picking up toys, or reading a book, mark the chart. After a certain number of marks, give your child a reward. You can also make negative marks each time a bad behavior occurs. If you do this, only give your child a reward if there are more positive marks than negative marks.

Developing Quiet Time (often useful when you’re making supper)

Ask your child to play quietly alone or with a sibling for a short time (maybe 30 minutes). Check on your child frequently (every 2 to 5 minutes, depending on the child’s age) and give a reward or a token for each few minutes they were quiet or playing well. Gradually increase the times (go from checking your child’s behavior every 2 to 5 minutes to checking every 30 minutes) but continue to give rewards for each time period your child was quiet or played well.

familydoctor.org - What You Can Do to Change Your Child's Behavior - FamilyDoctor.org

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